Week 1, Day 1

So...today has been going okay, I guess. I have a Biology Lab Report to do (last assignment before finals, wohooo), and have been hit by a horrible attack of procrastination and lack of motivation. I seriously can't even start doing it. And, so, I'm scared that I'll resort to boredom eating. But, anyways, my 8 week challenge is to workout 4x a week. Planning is the most important aspect of weight loss, I've learned, so I'm going to plan out the workouts in advance. My plan is to go to the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays at about 7 am, and workout for 1.5 hours. I think I'm going to start the couch to 5k plan, as being able to run is one of my major goals for the summer. I'll also do 30 - 45 minutes of the elliptical. And then on Wednesdays and Fridays, I'll sign up for the spinning classes. Hopefully, the low budget left on my dining plan will take care of eating itself. Although, today, I probably spent too much already.

Breakfast: 2 cinnamon swirl toast w/ butter and jam + skim latte
Lunch: Tomato, Mozzarella, and Pesto sandwich + Yoplait Light Yogurt
Snack: Skim latte + 100 calories pack

Oh, and in my literature class, we're doing presentations on "outsider" groups at BC. And, today, a group did obesity. It was very interesting, especially because BC was named the 3rd fittest schools and people are obsessed with the gym and staying fit. They said that 45% of the female population at BC shows signs of eating disorders. It's so scary. I hadn't really thought about too much, but I've noticed that one of my best friends is about 5'3 and weighs around 110, so nowhere near overweight, and is always obsessing about how she eats too much and none of her jeans fit. It used to just annoy me (I mean, come on...), but I never really looked at it as a problem. And, after hearing the statistics, it seems like it is.

serving of motivation

This couldn't come at a better time...Carolyn has just started an 8 week challenge. And I'm joining. I'm excited because these past few weeks have been bad. Real bad. So, let's hope this gets me to eat better and get to the gym 4x a week to lose 12 lbs!

Eh, I hate Saturdays

So, I'm sitting at the Chocolate Bar at my campus, which is really just a coffee place. It does have yummy treats, but I usually find happiness in simply a soy latte and a 100 calories pack. I decided to forget eating "breakfast" as it was like 3 'o clock when I got here. I had a small salad with dressing and then an hour later, I am still sipping my soy latte and had a light Yoplait yogurt and 100 calories peanut butter crisps (I think they're new...but, SO good!). I'm having a bit of trouble concentrating on studying psychology, so I think I'm going to have to employ my very slooooooow studying technique, that FORCES me to concentrate. I NEED to get this stuff done. Wish me luck and all...laterz!

Yayyy, nice 1st week loss!

Ahhh, 4 lbs gone! I can hardly believe it. It's so nice to not be in the 190s, anymore. I really hope this isn't some trick, because of water weight or timing differences! Yeah, my problem in the past has always been after the 1st weight in. Somehow, I suddenly start to think of everything wrong that I did in the week (which was, in actuality, not so much), and think: Woww, if I can eat alot and not exercise that week, I can do that FOREVER and lose weight. And, of course, this doesn't work and I'm back to my starting weight by 2nd weigh in. So, I think the real challenge, for me, begins NOW. To avoid the dreaded second week curse. So, today's Saturday, and I woke up at 12, to make up for all the sleep I've been neglecting for fun, wild things like studying acid-base titration's! So, next week is hell week for me in school, and I want to get a head start. I have a Social Psychology test next Tuesday and a Biology test the Wednesday, and then a Chemistry Lab presentation on Thursday and a Literature Presentation on Friday. Whew! So, my plan is to study 2.5 chapters of Psychology and to work on understanding the Chemistry Lab. I also get to have fun doing laundry! Um...what am I eating today? I think I'm going to start off with a small soy latte, banana, and cereal for the morning. And, I will see for dinner and a snack! Have a great weekend, everyone!

And so it begins...again

I think that every single one of my temporarily successful attempts at weight loss have begun with this type of epiphany: What am I doing?? Am I really shopping for size 16+ clothes because I can't shake the habit of having dessert? Have I been in a mild state of depression since childhood just because I really enjoy food? But, then, one fateful night (or afternoon...or morning) comes, and I'm dying in stress about my Bio exam or it's Friday night and I'm alone in my dorm room with nothing to do. And, yup. You guessed it. I eat. ALOT. And, then by the time I've consumed a couple hundred calories, I give up. It's just not worth it, I say. My life sucks, and even this momentary comfort that I'm getting is worth it. And, of course, looking back to it, I (probably like you) think that I'm a complete idiot who is lazy and has severe self-discipline problems. So, why is this time different? I don't know if it is, to be honest; I just hope, from the bottom of my heart, that it is. This time, I've decided to at least begin by not doing Weight Watchers. I know that WW is an amazing program, that has helped so many people (I know! I've read their blogs), but I've realized that I always just get burned out too quick for both core and flex. And, I think, in order to be semi-successful, I need to be honest about myself. I really don't do well with strict rules. It's easier for me to tell myself to "eat only up to the point where you're satisfied, incorporate vegetables and fruits into your meals, and eat 3 meals and 1 snack a day" than "you can have 27 points, and you have to look up all the generic point values of the foods because they're cafeteria food and also, increase each dish by a couple of points b/c it IS college after all". I hope I do eventually learn the basic rules of eating well that I can follow WW, but not right now. Next, I've accepted that I'm not normal. Normal people do not think about food ALL day - but I do. I can't help it. I just need to realize that I'm never going to have a "normal, healthy" relationship to food and move on. Accept my obsession and deal with it. And, finally, I've realized that I am a secret eater. I can go out to dinner with my friends, and act like a totally normal person who is just eating for nourishment. But, when I'm alone....let me tell you, I can eat EVERYTHING. And, I think, one of my biggest problems has always been, there's been no one to tell me to stop eating because I don't let people know. And, I guess, that's where blogging comes in. I hope that you will keep me accountable, and also, hopefully, offer advice and encouragement when needed. Wish me luck!